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Having to choose between your lover and your best friend is
sometimes inevitable. Who should you choose is never certain.
In the end, whoever it is, whatever your decision is, breaks your heart. |
I first saw this boy at the canteen in our school. My eyes caught his and for a few seconds we were just staring at each other. I was at the same time busy trying to slow down my heartbeat which had accelerated. I was then the first one to look away, pretending that it didn’t mean anything. He was a really good looking boy with very deep-set eyes under dark eyebrows and cute lips under a nice perfect nose.
Surprisingly, he also joined the same organisation as I did. I was very happy and started to think that it was our destiny. I tried to always be at the same time at the same place as him, mostly at the canteen and every weekend when we had a meeting or event related to our organisation. However, we never talked to each other. What we did all the time in our meetings was only look into each other’s eyes. Until finally one sunny afternoon after school, I was waiting for a bus when he suddenly was standing next to me. I was so surprised and for a second I couldn’t believe that he was just right there. For the first time he said hi and talked to me. Our first conversation didn’t last long, but we continued having conversations in our next meetings at school, until one day…
One of my best friends at that time approached to talk to me. She said she’d noticed something. She said that she’d seen me talking to this boy a few times. I didn’t quite understand where she was going with her questions until she said she wanted to know him more personally. Right then, she, taking me by surprise, admitted having a crush on him.
I was a very shy girl. I didn’t talk about my feelings to anyone, including to those, I called my best friends. So, nobody knew about my crush on this boy, and I began to wish that I had told them. For quite a while, I didn’t know what to say since I wasn’t expecting this situation at all, but when she asked me to introduce her to him, I did say one thing.. That I promised to do it and I did. My friend was a very pretty girl and she was very popular. I kept asking myself why, of all the boys at school, did she like the same boy as I did. She could’ve chosen somebody else; she could’ve been with anyone. But why…
Not long after I introduced her to him, the boy came to me and said that he needed to talk. I was reluctant at first but then agreed to meet after school. When he said that he liked me, I almost told him that I also liked him but something stopped me from saying it. I was very sad and had to hold my tears when I said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have the same feeling, and I don’t want us to be more than friends.” I could see he was confused. I could tell that he knew that I actually liked him, and he even asked me why. A question that I could never answer. He then left me without asking more questions.
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